Can you hear that?

Typewriter

16:41 - “To those who leave their homes in the cause of Allah, after suffering oppression, We will assuredly give a goodly home in this world: but truly the reward of the Hereafter will be greater. If they only knew!”

Monday, November 17, 2008

Your my mystery. / 12:28 AM

Watching people do covers on youtube reminded me of the day I actually considered giving up singing. I can't believe the thought even crossed my mind. Sure, I'm no David Cook or Annuar Zain but I try my best. I like, no I love to sing a lot. I sing everyday no matter what mood I'm in. It's something that's a part of me. If I were to be mute one day (insya'allah I wont be), I'd probably wont have the motivation to go to school, to meet my friends, to do anything at all. So no matter what, I'll stick to singing because it's my remedy.

I realise I'm still not in the know of my idol's past. I know that the past is history and shouldn't be dwelled upon but I feel like I need to know. I do know a few things here and there but their just bits and pieces. I'm not trying to interfere in his life because I just want to know. However, I wouldn't want to meet him anytime soon and have everything laid out on a fake silver platter. It just wouldn't feel right. If god has destined for me to meet him then I'd meet him. I want the journey to be one that I'll remember; no shortcuts. I just wanna hold strong to what I believe in and let nature take its course. I wanna find out more about him slowly, putting the bits and pieces together myself (a few extra hints are welcomed but not too much). Now that I realise there are still things I do not know, I realise he's my mystery.

Labels: idol, singing

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

On the Contrary / 11:17 PM

I like it when I smile. Nope, not because I think I look good when I do it. I think I'm ugly but I still like it when I smile this wide. I smile this wide only when I stumble upon stuff that deserves this wide a smile. Like what you might ask. Like when I find good news about my idol.

Firstly, his back on the relationship track. Alhamdulillah. Secondly, I found something else somewhere which I'm not gonna mention and it really is making me smile wider than The Joker. For now only Farhana and Huda knows. After Nisha's paper tomorrow I'm definitely gonna tell her. I saved that little scrap of happiness in words not of my own. Alhamdulillah. I feel blessed now.

I realise however, I like to write such depressing poems. The only poem I can remember that is good natured is of a dream I had. Oh well, I guess it's just teenage angst. However, I also realise they're always love songs. hmm.. I need a private diary to release my orgasmic happiness. 0.0!

Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot.

Labels: idol, personal, poems

Thursday, September 25, 2008

As I stand here and listen to your song / 11:52 AM

Just wanted to post this quite old song. Really brings back memories.

It's hard to believe how much have changed in my personal life since this show was aired on suria. Since I started liking the band's sound (yang paham, paham. yang tak paham tu pahamkan aje).

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Labels: idol, J.da, mengertilah, suria

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Even a glance feels good / 12:41 AM

Okay I just got back from terawih and lepaking with Afiq, Omar and Mamat. Today we lepaked at Eunos Interchange instead of the usual Omar's playground since it was raining. The place would probably be wet anyways. Me and Afiq had our own little private talking session also. Okay actually the main purpose of me blogging at this time is because after such a long time of not seeing 'him' anywhere in Singapore, I saw 'him' just now. At that time we were talking about some cruel gang activities in America's prison. I was sorta cringing and looking away when I saw this guy walking towards my direction. Immediately I thought: Irwan Azly. And it WAS him!! Omg. Make fun of or look down on me for being a stalker of a local malay male singer for all I care because at this moment I'm am uncontrollably excited. Seriously happy that I get to see him this ramadhan. In fact, I just realised I saw him during last year's ramadhan also. O.o His hair is short and he was wearing a black t-shirt (I suspect the same one he likes to wear) with white bermudas. Ahhh.. He was doing something to his back hair that time. Oh and in order to control myself I HAD to look away and so-called engage in whatever the rest was talking about until he walked past and I asked Mamat for an innocent rhetorical confirmation. Ahhhhhhhhhh.... Somehow I feel like writing something down now. I feel like writing and writing and writing away. And it'll all be about whatever I'm feeling now, whatever I felt at that moment and whatever I have always been feeling. Thank you god for bestowing this personality in me of being able to appreciate someone of the same gender without fear of showing any form of emotions which others may feel is gay. And thank you god for allowing me to still see him in a glance of excitement.

Somehow though, the partial aftermath (I'm only like 25% over it or less) of this chance was me worrying. This is one of those emotions I was telling you people about. I am worried for someone whom I barely even know. That's what I'm worried about but I like it that way. I don't know him as much as his girlfriend knows him or his close friend knows him. For all I know he might not be such a good person. I am so afraid that he's those that stray away from religion. I really am. That's why I like it this way. I won't really know for sure but I'll just worry in silence and pray that he is still in god's care. Amin.

And I think now I have another to love also.

Disclaimer: For those who don't know me, know me fairly, dislike me in anyway or are just random strangers, I can assure you I am not gay. I'm just different. If you need any further assurance, you can ask my circle of friends.

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