Can you hear that?

Typewriter

16:41 - “To those who leave their homes in the cause of Allah, after suffering oppression, We will assuredly give a goodly home in this world: but truly the reward of the Hereafter will be greater. If they only knew!”

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Sluurrrpppp / 10:30 PM

Wow. I really didn't expect my eyes to water just now but it did. I guess memories of the past do hurt a lot. I realised a few things today: 1) I'm a cynical hypocritical bastard 2) I'm still depressed but I'm taking it all in like a cigarette 3) We're in need of a laid back, 100% truthful confession session.

I realise that when I don't get enough sleep, I don't get cranky. I'll be this cynical person who is just spiteful about everything. I can be cynical about everything there is but once I meet my friends, poof everything is gone. Well, not really. I just put a smile on my face without even trying to. It's sad how I'm getting used to that.

I know I shouldn't be one to say I'm depressed but then again, what other word can explain the state I'm in? I don't know. Sometimes I think the less people you meet, the lesser the chances of getting hurt when they leave. Wouldn't it be nice if you could save emotions in a bottle? I mean separate the good ones from the horrible ones. The good ones are for you to feel happy and the bad ones are for you to remind yourself never to make the same mistake. But the catch is you can't feel anything else than the ones in your heart. Meaning if you took out love and kept hatred, you'll never be able to love but only hate. Interesting isn't it?

And just before we left for PSP Iftar just now, I realised I miss the confession sessions of so long ago. Just being truthful to each other and letting it all out. I miss the relief of letting go. I miss feeling relief. I never feel relief for letting something go anymore. Or maybe I never do. Hmm....