Can you hear that?

Typewriter

16:41 - “To those who leave their homes in the cause of Allah, after suffering oppression, We will assuredly give a goodly home in this world: but truly the reward of the Hereafter will be greater. If they only knew!”

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Poems to Strangers / 10:08 PM

I don't know why. It's been months now and my head is still playing the same slideshow of photos. As if I'll ever get sick of something like that. I'll never get sick of it because I love it too much. It sucks though to write poems to someone whom you feel you've lost. To talk to yourself and expect every moment that the someone will reply although you know that wouldn't happen. You hope and hope and hope.

Hope.

Something I think I'm losing. A lot of times I feel like I'm losing the faith I once had. It's scary when I think of it. I mean, once you lose believe in things then everything would be so pointless wouldn't it? To think of it, believes are what make you want to cram that extra information in your head for the tests, to stand up for the ones you love, to work for that goal you want and a lot of things in this world. They should bottle up believes, faith and hope in a jar so that every time you need them, you can just take one out and bite on it like a cookie.

I realise I hate my dreams this few days. They're but blatant expressions of the swirls in my head and heart. It makes me feel like something has been torn out of my chest to the point where sometimes I wake up crying. Good grief (ironic as it is), I realise I've been crying a lot now. It's always at random moments of when I'm in the train alone, trying to sleep, in my dreams or when I wake up. Mostly it happens when I'm alone and my mind starts to make the photos in my head a little bit more crisp. I think the dream I had on Wednesday morning (it was some time pass 2am when I woke up) really did it though. If I hadn't been trying to study for the day's test, I wouldn't have a strong enough motivation to distract me, again believe playing it's role.

You know what my advice would be? To myself in the future and to whoever wants to receive it, be sure of what you want whenever possible, regardless of how old you are. Because if you realise that you made the wrong decision somewhere along the lines, then it might be just too late for you to take it back and you find yourself regretting. I hate regret. I don't think any of you people like it either.