Can you hear that?

Typewriter

16:41 - “To those who leave their homes in the cause of Allah, after suffering oppression, We will assuredly give a goodly home in this world: but truly the reward of the Hereafter will be greater. If they only knew!”

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Bad End to a Good Day / 10:48 PM

A few days ago, a random passerby whom I realised was from my course (Singapore Polytechnic Diploma in Media and Communications) asked me in lieu of an interview she had to do for an article: You know how Singaporeans are migrating to other countries? How do you feel the country could allow its citizens to be more patriotic?

My answer? It was to give Singaporeans a reason not to leave and improve Singapore's service sector to match or be better than that of other countries. But after today, I realise the answer from the bottom of my heart is to decrease the nastiness of Singaporeans and tone down on first impressions.

Why? Because of what happened in the train when I was on the way to meet a couple of friends at Tampines. A father was sitting in the seat across me with his young child. I slept through most of the journey because I had a tiring day running around shooting photos for an event in the wast and to add on, I was hungry. So when the train reached Bedok, my friend beside me left because he was too tired to join me and my friends. But before he left I pleaded for him to give me the curry puff he brought back from the event because my stomach was grumbling. Being a nice fellow, he did pass me the curry puffs in a nice little plastic bag before he left.

So when the doors closed and I was sitting alone in the 'couple seat', I took a curry puff and stuff it in my mouth to ease my stomach. I was already on my second curry puff when I noticed this chinese guy sitting on the floor close to me talking to himself. The guy has been sitting there talking to himself all the way from Jurong East.

Then the boy from earlier on spoke up and asked his dad: "Daddy, is he talking to himself? Why is he talking to himself?"

I smiled in amusement at this because if I were the dad I simply wouldn't know what to answer and I'd probably come up with some funny reason. However this dad in particular told him an answer I was quite shocked with. He said while deliberately and blatantly pointing at my face: "He's asking him (he's referring to me) to stop eating" Oh and he didn't do it with a smile either, he gave me a stare that communicated this: "You are nobody and I am better than you. You are doing something wrong and thus I have the right to do or say anything I want to tarnish your emotions or ego in public because the law is definitely on my side."

I was already done with that second curry puff and was sitting there with my stomach protesting for me to eat one more. I was in utter shock and I kept looking for other places to look at till I reached Tanah Merah. This was when I decided that I shall eat another curry puff to see if he'll do anything about it. I mean, he didn't exactly ask me nicely thus being a rebellious teenager I had to rebel. What happened next made my heart race with so much anger and disbelief that till now it still is.

His son saw me eating the curry puff and looked up at his dad. I was looking out the window and was not making my little experiment obvious. The son went on and asked his dad: "Daddy, is he staring at you?"

I held my ground and kept staring out the window. So the dad replied: "No. I'm staring at him." So that was my queue. I moved my gaze from the darkness of night outside to his eyes and continued chewing with my blank expression. And from there, we argued with him starting it and me ending it (but sadly, not with a controversially clever statement though). He started with a "Stop eating." I swear he looked like he was about to spit at my face.

So I said: "Nope. I'm just chewing." And he replied with a: "I don't care if you are chewing or what just stop eating." At this point I was surprise his spit wasn't already on my face. So I put whatever was left of the curry puff in its plastic bag. This was already decided when he pointed at my face before, I am going to stand up for myself because I know that eating in the train is wrong and I can be fined but that's between me and the MRT officers; he had no right to talk to me that way and he certainly didn't have any right to do what he did next.

So like I said, I kept the other half of the curry puff in its plastic bag and returned to looking at this chinese man in the eye with food in my mouth. I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything because he went ahead and said: "What? You have a problem with me issit?" So I jolly well retorted: "I didn't say I had any problem with you. If you wanted me to stop eating then why couldn't you just have told me nicely?"

And thinking that he was this righteous Singaporean (two words I now feel like I can never put together), he said: "This is a favour to you. I'm telling you to stop eating." If you were to read this, you could imagine either a blank expression or a concerned citizen one. However, he was still maintaining his hateful gaze. Even his son was waving his hand in front of his eyes to try and get his attention.

So I repeated: "Okay if it was favour then why you could have told me nicely." The sentence after this made my heart laugh in disgust. He said: "This is NOT a favour. I'm telling you to stop eating."

Sorry for this but, what a bumbling idiot. He told me that it was a favour which actually made me lie to myself and think: 'Okay lah. He's just doing it because he doesn't want me to get in trouble. Concerned citizen you know.' But then when I repeated it, he said it wasn't a favour. How nice and convenient. If world leaders were able to do that then life would be so conveniently full of problems. Send a missile with your country's name on it to another country and just say that you didn't do it. Then the world would be a place to test all your nuclear weapons.

I can't remember what I said next because I know I didn't complete my sentence. He cut me off my shouting: "Shut your bloody mouth!" Wow, 10 points on settling stuff maturely (I'm being sarcastic by the way). Right now, typing it all, I wonder how on Earth was I to react to that if it ever happens again. But I know whatever I was about to say was cut off again when he stood and continued shouting at me stuff like: "You got a problem issit? Huh? What? What? You got a problem?"

Trust me, throughout the whole thing I was sitting down and staring at him straight in the eye when I heavily felt like standing, matching his height and say: "I don't have a problem with you telling me to stop eating but I have problem with how you tell me to. And I'm just gonna stand now so that you can't look down on me anymore." But me being me, I held myself down and furthermore his son was already pulling him back telling him to stop it. But I did say this though: "I don't have a problem. Look, I'm not even the one that is standing and raising his voice."

I don't know if that got to him or his son did but he sat down anyway. I had 1000 violent and vulgar thoughts running through my head so to stop me from doing anything that might put me in the wrong, I looked away. At that point, I knew people were staring, especially this young malay couple sitting in the same cabin. I was pissed and till now the only thing that is stopping me from being pissed are my yawns.

And guess what? He didn't want to stop. I uttered to myself: "mampos." Which means die. It is often said by malays, especially the teenagers, when they find something utterly rubbish. And as soon as he saw my lips move, he raised his voice at me again and said: "What did you say?!"

At this point I gave up checking my phone to distract myself and said: "I'm talking to myself."

And he said: "Oh is that right? You're talking to yourself?" Again I'm surprised his spit wasn't on my face by then. Yes you bumbling idiot. I just said that. Do you want me to right it down on paper? Because I think even your son can fathom such simple sentences.

I didn't say that of course. I was too angry to come up with smart come backs so I settled for a: "Yes! I'm talking to myself." and continued replying a message. Ouh and I'm actually quite surprised that he sounded so much like an immature little kid next to his son. His son was telling him to stop and stuff and he was the one saying stuff like 'why should I? He's just a joker who deserves to be knocked on the head.' At that point I just muttered: WHAT THE HELL.

DingDong. It was finally Tampines station and I could alight. But guess what? He actually stood up and told his son: "He's stopping at Tampines. Come, let's go." I knew he didn't want to give it a rest because his son replied: "But daddy! We're stopping at Pasir Ris!"

Seriously, I'm wondering which is the mature human being, him or his son. If he were really to alight at Tampines, I would have gladly told him off in front of the MRT officers even though that would mean I had to admit to me eating in the train and thus causing me to get fined. So when I alighted, the malay couple alighted with me through the same door and the girl asked: "Are you alright?"

And for I don't know how long I actually could smile and say: "Yeah. I'm fine. It's okay." But obviously when I told my friend about this over the phone I was swearing with my full swear dictionary in three different languages.

This is where the part about patriotism comes in because at this point, I realise I'm not loyal to Singapore because of the people. I find that we as Singaporeans are heavily judgemental on each other when we all pledge ourselves to be one united nation regardless of race, language or religion.

Why do I say this? Because when I was on the bus to my friend's house, I realise that he couldn't have been that angry about me eating in the train. I mean, come on. Which of you would actually stand up, shout and advance at someone just because he ate in the train? The message I got from him was different. I had a feeling I should have told him that and asked if he hated me because my hair is dyed or because I was malay. If he was angry at me because he saw me as creating public nuisance then he was obviously not seeing how he was acting. I'm the one who is younger and is supposed to be less mature but he is the one who's standing, shouting and advancing at me. Seriously, I feel like he was definitely looking down on me just based on how I look. I don't know when I'm gonna feel patriotic again, but I can safely say it's not anytime soon. I know this is a heavy punishment to the country when not everyone is like that but hey it's not like I like being shouted at by a stranger in a public area.

P.S. I wonder what happened to talking and asking nicely. I hope I wouldn't encounter this again because if I do, I wouldn't be so nice. Of course I'll be careful about not blatantly eating at places I'm not supposed to now but like I said, I don't think that was his main motivation.