I don't know why but some days I just feel... really unhappy. Don't worry, I'm not entering my bad mood phase again, yet. But I just feel unhappy about things, about how some words are said, about how things are planned in concrete letters. I guess the selfish side of me is really going for it but the human side is really pondering if I'll stand up tall with my nose pointing to the sky when all is said and done. I'm really pondering whether all of this is worth it. I spent like an hour plus before I fell asleep thinking about the people around me. It saddens me so when I imagine them in business suits and expensive watches, saying everything in the name of business.

Faith. An extremely big word in my opinion. I needed that short bitching session with Wawa (I hate it when 2 people I know have the same name) about certain stuffs. Sammy was there too. Gahh.. Problems are neatly stacking themselves up on top of each other even before the new semester starts. It's difficult for me to lose faith in other people but it's easy for me to lose faith in myself. But in this case, it seems that both sides are losing. Like I said, there's this big gaping black hole of unhappiness in me right now. Not in an angry, I want everyone to die kind of way but more like in a sad and depressing way. I really hope that everything will go well among us all. I'm not the type to go into a fist fight, in fact I'm the type to talk things out. But what if talking is only talking but everyone goes home with the same anger or pain in their hearts. I really hate this.

And another thing, I really hope that everything goes well for Sammy. I am feeling seriously guilty over what happened and I couldn't bring myself to explain what happened because I knew none of this would have happened if we didn't do the things we did. It's sad that it all started with a simple innocent plan to make her feel better about being in Singapore.

Good God, please help her, them, us, me. I am guilty of a lot of sins and I am shameful about asking for your help but please, lend me your forgiving hand once again.