WARNING: might be vulgar and depressing / 8:12 PM

ARRRGGHHH!!! I'm so fucking pissed, disappointed and angry at myself. I let myself down because I just had to fall sick. I should have taken better care of myself. Why?? WHY??? I feel like I let Nisha down also because she has been coaching me since like about sec 3. I feel like I let down the people who kept encouraging me. I feel like I let down those that helped me. Arrrhhh!! I feel like an idiot. And I know this makes me sound like a cry baby and a limbo (a male bimbo for those who don't know) but I really feel like crying. I really feel so miserable. Hais. Even though I haven't gotten the results yet (it's due friday), I already feel so depressed. It's quite confusing actually. On one hand, I'm hoping and praying to god that I'll get through whereas on the other hand I feel like I already lost the battle and already think I suck. At this point, Mr David Lim's face bobbed up in my head when he asked us if we think we can pass and do well for physics. Then he said: "If you answered 'no' then you have already lost half the battle". So what do you readers think? I think I might get phobia of auditions now because I'm scared that I'll screw up again because of sickness. But do you readers think I should give up my dream to perform as a singer? Just like my idol. Should I really just give up? I mean all that vocal coaching by Nisha seems to have been wasted anyway. Someone tell me please.

P.S. Now I have to fake a smile for tomorrow's CD presentation.