Tears of the heart never show / 1:42 PM

I am sorry if my blog is very depressing at times but I just have too many people I care about, too many people I worry about even if they don't care about me. I know some people might think it's dumb to feel this way and that I'm just being paranoid but that is how I am. I'd be the most paranoid man on earth to bring salvation to those I care about because they are my salvation by god's will. And at this point I'd like to thank god for making me who I am and meeting everyone I have met and am going to meet.

Anyway, the thing I'm thinking about is my idol. I found his blog which is has not been updated since 2005. There stated his poems, his woes and his daily experiences. It was quite enjoyable to read it. But then I remembered something else. I found out through his friendster that he is singing at a bar called Naughty Girl every Sunday from 6pm onwards. Some might think this is normal and some might even say I should be proud and go watch him one day. Trust me people, the day I started looking up to him I have admired his singing, his songs and have always been proud of him. But singing at such a bar makes me worried. I ponder every moment since I knew about it if he's gonna be okay, if he's gonna change into all those sad stories where the guys turns into a violent, drunk old man. I don't want that for him. Please god, i care too much. Please don't allow him to stray away from your path.

I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried,I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried,I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried,I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried,I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried...

I can never say that enough. My heart cries but I'm trying to ignore it. I am trying to convince myself that my idol will be safe because I know god will always be with him like how 'he' has always been with me. I wan't to be your sun not your rainbow. I wanna be there when the day comes when you need me (Insya'allah). And reading your blog hasmade me remember all those feelings from years ago. Those poems and songs you wrote that made me sing or cry silently. I shall not cry anymore because I know you are strong and I wanna be as strong if not more. Your problems I might not be able to understand fully but I do understand how you feel. Because I care...